Fantastical Finales

Wahoo! The semester is finally over! Yessssssss!!!!! Looking back over the past few months, I feel a sense of...I dunno, remorse/happiness/relief? (Would that be called repief?) So much has changed in my life this year. Isn't that what I expected? My pursuit of God has brought me into the strangest, most unexpected places possible. But that is what I asked for, wasn't it? Haven't I asked Him time and time again to give me adventures in which He reveals more of Himself to me? I desire to be trusted with much, but it seems over the fleeting months of this semester, I have not been a great steward of the much that God gave me. So I am resolved to start back with the little things. Like time. I desire to be wise with my time. Like words. I desire to be wise with my words. Like prayer. I desire to be a prayer warrior who is feared by those spiritual forces against which we battle with God as our general. Like integrity. I desire to always do God's will with utmost passion, not some mediocre job that constantly nags to be done to the glory of God. So I write this here as a reminder to myself to hold myself accountable. I desire to be a woman of my word, not tossed about like the turbulent waves of the ocean.
I've heard in the past few years that God cares more for process than the finished product. This is a very good thing. I constantly try strive to achieve perfection...and always fall short. So God, in His great mercy and compassion picks me up out of the mire, gently wipes the tears from my eyes, and says, "Let's go at this again, but this time, hold my hand, I can show you a safer, better, more fulfilling path. Want to come with me?" Why I don't constantly clasp that strong, loving hand forever I'll never quite understand. Sure, my pride gets in the way, but why, knowing that He has the best for me, do I constantly wrench free of that same hand and stumble off into the briars and sinking sand? Oof. I was trying to throw a bowl on the pottery wheel the other day. I was using some new clay, and thus I had to wedge it extra long. I got impatient, however, and decided to throw even though the clay was still pretty hard. So I put some water on the wheel, plopped the clay down, and started trying to center it. Ai! It was ridiculous. I wore myself out trying to master the stupid lump of earth, and in the end, it was still just a stupid lump of earth. And I was tired. So I used some other clay that had been previously used. I wedged it up better, and then tried again. It was beautiful. It bent and formed with every gentle nudge that my unfortunately impatient and unskilled fingers gave it. It reminded me of the verses that describe God as the Potter...and it made me remember I want to be the clay. Not the stuff I tried first. It was ridiculous. But the pliable clay...it made me enjoy the art. And I want God to rejoice in His art. I want Him to enjoy sculpting me. And when I am finished, He and I will be able to look back over the process and see a thing of beauty, not of constant struggle.
I'm on break now, about to end the year with family, friends, and a missions trip to Mexico. I'm pumped. More adventures with a wild, passionate, loving, trustworthy God? Bring them on!