And There Is A Season...

...for everything under heaven. And now is my season for endings and new beginnings...again. Six years of university now securely under my belt, and the whole world before me; whatever will I do? Which adventure will I embark upon?
My grandmother finally passed away last week, so I am without grandparents now. Aunt Ernie also died. It's as if my whole childhood is dying. I guess it's good to completely move on to the present moment and leg of my life journey. Death of any sort always makes me ponder. What stories will people tell about my life when I'm gone? What legacy will I leave? Will I live my moments and opportunities to the fullest, or will I settle for the ordinary?
And since I'm teetering on the edge of "career" choices, or at least the next step in my life, I'm trying to decide where I want to go and how to get there...and when to go once I figure out the aforementioned dilemmas. Not worrying, just wanting to see the next step. It's kind of like tango, I guess. As the follower, I have a tendency to try to predict the leader's step and try to get there too fast. A helpful individual reminded me to balance, and wait until the last possible moment to transition my weight to the next step. I'm impatiently trying to guess what's going to happen to me in the next year or so, and in doing so, I'm neglecting that elegant pause and reflection, feeling the lead, and transitioning to the next move with grace, rather than with clumsy blundering.
In truth, I really enjoy being done, though, as one friend warned, being done with so much idle time is starting to make me itch with the lack of purpose. I hate not having something useful to do. It wears on the nerves and suffocates my passion. What have I been doing with this empty space in my schedule? Well, a few great things have come of it. I have been taking fiddle lessons for almost a month now. I love making measurable progress! I also got back into tango and just finished a 3-day workshop with an instructor from Argentina. I am reconnecting with friends I've neglected all semester. I spent time with my sister-in-law and nieces/nephew when possible. I went back to Ophir School to sub for my English cooperating teacher when she got married and visit "my kids".
The tentative plan for closing this door and opening the next is to move to Darby, MT for the summer with my sister Laura and bro-in-law, and see if I am accepted to the Honduras teaching position I've applied for, or in some other location...maybe Columbus, MT? I'm having a harder time leaving Bozeman than I thought I would, but we'll see what the summer does. Maybe the change in locale will help clear my vision a bit.
Alright, there's an update. Maybe I'll try to think of something witty and enjoyable to read before another 6 months has gone by. Ciao!

Comments

the maiden said…
Hi Kristella! That's about it. See you in a couple weeks! : )

JAS
30 April, 2009 22:11
Unknown said…
Well the dilemma was solved for one year, what will the next bring?
02 June, 2010 21:01
almadecolor said…
Symon, only God knows what next year holds...though I AM feeling a bit of a tug from the Bitterroot area. I'm chewing on the idea of renting somewhere in Darby or Hamilton, seeing if I could tutor and/or sub at the high school and following where that leads me. We'll see, we'll see. :-)
03 June, 2010 02:55
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