Random Procrastinating Note

OK, so a crazy random occurrence...occurred today. I was sitting in ICT, trying to cram for my Arabic exam tomorrow, write my final written and oral presentations for the same class, and trying to organize my thoughts on life and love and happiness and then the.....(Houseplant Song, anyone??), when all of a sudden, I was distracted by an elderly lady sitting by herself at one of the tables. I thought of my grandma, and was struck by a strange protective feeling towards the woman. Anyway, after a bit, I resumed my studies, only to be distracted again by a younger woman, (presumably her daughter), asking in a perceivably irritated manner if she would be able to walk out to the curb. I didn't want to interfere, so I kept pretending oblivion, until I saw the old lady standing by the door, alone, for a long period of time, barely able to support her own weight. So I went and asked if she would like some assistance out to the car...afraid of a slip and broken hip or something. And to my delight, she responded in a most favorable manner, and accepted my offer. I saw a gleam of very distinguished beauty in her grateful eyes.
It made my day.
I wonder a lot about old people. I will be one of them one day. I wonder at their life stories. What adventures did they live at my age? What do they think about their lives, looking back? Do they have regrets that overshadow the good memories? Were they college graduates? Did they give up their personal dreams to support their families? Human life is so frail, and yet so perseverant! I am awed at these glimpses of other microcosmic dramas. So many lives, so many pains, so many joys...how does God endure all these extreme emotions all at once, and not shatter into a bazillion pieces of pulsing pain and confusion? That's how I feel sometimes. Like I cannot understand, organize, or label my feelings, and therefore I will explode if I don't find an outlet.
OK, I'm done now. Back to Arabic.

Comments

Jeffrey Sharkey said…
wait, i might know this mother/daughter. was this the daughter: http://web.archive.org/web/20070723161918/http://www.greatlie.com/images/upload/Image/NO1.jpg
03 December, 2008 22:37
Alma de Color said…
Nope, not her...though I recognize her from when I worked with the Native American Studies Office...she and her brother helped at the AIC Powwows every year.
04 December, 2008 23:47
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Intriguing Quotes From "The Shack"

I just finished reading "The Shack" by William P. Young, and have here included the parts that made me think the most. Perhaps they will make you think too... God's voice had been reduced to paper, and even that paper had to be moderated and deciphered by the proper authorities and intellects. It seemed that direct communication with God was something exclusively for the ancients and uncivilized, while educated Westerners' access to God was mediated and controlled by the intelligentsia. Nobody wanted God in a box, just in a book. Especially an expensive one bound in leather with gilt edges, or was that guilt edges? Freedom is an incremental process. 95 Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around. You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around. 97 All love an relationship is possible for you only
Read more

Los años del hambre (The Years of Hunger)

At the hand of the Dictator many souls died, And the poor noble Spaniards started losing their pride. So their children were kidnapped to an island offshore, Brainwashed to a fascist legend and lore. A few citizens fled to the hills to resist; For their efforts the soldiers refused to desist. The brave rebels attempted guerilla warfare, Often beaten by the forces found there. The same General was seen to be hero or damned, Depending on blessings or beatings men had. All Republicans ran and they fled for their lives, Had to burn all their papers and send off their wives. At the end of his reign, the country was torn, Ravaged by years of the ache it had borne. Countless War Children with no hope of home, And a country divided, the marrow from bone.
Read more

The Art of Ant Torture

When I was a child, I took great fiendish delight in burying ants. I remained steadily amused for several minutes dropping handfuls of dirt on poor, innocent ants, and chortling with delight as they would tunnel through the obstacle and break through to the sunlight…only to have me drop another trap on their unsuspecting heads. But I was discriminatory. I did not bury ants that were one solid color, or ones that were small and harmless. Oh no, I only buried the big smelly red ones with the black butts. They were my enemy. They were the ones that built gigantic ant mounds in my back yard, along the fences, in the fields along the irrigation ditches, the base of the trees I so liked to climb, and virtually everywhere a child roams. Their bites hurt. So I buried them until they gave up trying to tunnel out. If I was feeling particularly generous on any given day, I would award only the most persistent ant his life. He would struggle to freedom over and over again, dis
Read more

Starting Over

     My sketchpad sits on the shelf, untouched.  My journal, the constant companion of the last couple decades of my life, has dwindled to almost nothing.  I wrote my first letter in over a year just last week.  I don't actually remember the last time I made time to just sit and read something interesting that was unrelated to my job or my schooling.  I hear a lot of mothers say the same.  Difference is, I'm not a mother.  I had expectation that upon getting married, my life would change; I would no longer have to fill as many moments with hobbies or pastimes, because I would be able to do things with my husband, and/or I would get to spend more time building our marriage.  However, after the first few weeks of marriage, I instead have spent the past two years trying frantically to glue pieces of myself back together, hoping against hope that the rejection and unfaithfulness on his part would be replaced with repentance and a new start.  At the end of a 2-year battle to save my
Read more

Transformation- Transformación

Image
An echoing thunder torments the corridors of my mind My senses awake, I feel the coming downpour As a mouse feels the lurking talons of the  Feathered shadow, hovering, thrumming. Hovering, thrumming, strumming the poignant chords Reverberating on the thin strings of the chest  Cavity.  I sense a change, I feel the Stirring of a new and unequaled challenge. A new and unequaled sunrise marks the  Arrival of a day fraught with  Unexpected, the unfathomable possibilities Discovered among the rich sands of adventure. Sands of adventure obscure my eyes a And I fight to clear them.  I want to  See clearly now, and forever, avoiding All traps that lie in wait for the unguarded. My heart was supposedly impenetrable and guarded, Believing the best and reckless in abandon, But a thief tiptoed in with promises of strength, Promises of beauty and a pact of forever. The shattered shards of that pact of forever Fell one by painful one into the wee
Read more

Candid Cadets and Glamorous Gowns

Image
1/20/06 Have I ever mentioned how much I love accents and languages? I am sitting in the airport in Minneapolis . I’m not hearing anything but the TV at the moment, but on the flight here, I was delighted to be in the same vicinity as several Bostonians. They don’t say their “r’s”! Fantastic, really. To recap a bit, I’m on my way to Ne w York . Last night, I sang with the somewhat reduced worship team. Alex, Jen, and Matt were there. The rest of the team is in Colorado or something. I left after practice to pack. I took a shower and continued getting ready. Chuck called to finalize details, and Dad also called. I finished sewing velvet over the snaps on the halter part of my dress and Melissa helped me check my flight and such things. I didn’t get to sleep very early. I slept for a few hours and my alarm reminded me I had to get up. Melissa drove me to the airport at 6:30 AM. It was more simple than I had imagined it would be. I read more of the arti
Read more

El fin del año en Honduras

Once again, I was blogeligent , and therefore am WAY behind in my entries. I pity your poor eyes. Only read if you have a super good cup 'o something tasty and are seated very comfortably. :-) Here we go.... Entry from 11-12-10 If 7 weeks seemed like too short a time, then 9 days might very well kill me. Way back in October, I spent Natasha's last day here climbing the water tower, making cookies that mostly never made it to cookie status, and drinking large quantities of tea. The next day, I escaped early from a delightful dinner with the Rumbaughs ' and practiced violin for almost an hour with practically no one in Staff Housing, (they were all still at the Rumbaughs '). I played fútbol three days in a row that weekend, had a great movie night/chat with Samuel, and moved out into the community with Joelle. She and Christine asked to take care of Rigo's and Christy's house until they get back in January. Christine was still in the States, though, an
Read more

Who We Become

Lately, I feel as though I have somehow lost focus on who I was on my way to being. Do you ever find yourself in such a place? I am a firm believer that life is a journey, a process of continual transformation. Each decision I make, every day, impacts who I am becoming and how I will respond to life situations in the future. I do not believe life is about sitting on my derriere and waiting for the transformation to just happen, so I can wake up tomorrow with my wings totally unfurled, dried out, and ready to test the air currents. I desire to have a continual divine discontent...discontent with dulled consciousness of life and existence; I want to burn with passion in joyful expectancy of my destiny, and be living it along the path to reaching it. I will never reach it if I am not moving toward somewhere. I can't wake up one morning and expect to have suddenly arrived at my destiny. We're not designed that way. True contentment is having that joyful expectancy, with f
Read more

Motherhood

Nothing ever can quite prepare a person to be a parent.  Of course, we can always study, ask advice, collect resources, and make a plan of action our minds, but at the end of the day, when the months of pregnancy end, and a living, squirming bundle is cradled oh-so-uncertainly in one's arms, it's a rare phenomenon.  One suddenly feels as though she knows nothing and had no idea whatsoever all along. I am loving being a mom!  Our son is a delight, and utterly adorable, even at 0100, and 0326, and 0515....you get the picture.  My years of sleeping through the night undisturbed came to an abrupt halt, and, though I do miss the rest that came with them, I wouldn't wish them back at the cost of erasing the cause of my sleeplessness.  The spit up isn't as bad as I remember it being from babysitting, and the diapers are no bother at all.  Well, there was that one blow-out on the airplane RIGHT before we took off, when we were surrounded by all men, and I was hyper aware of t
Read more

Murcia, España: 31-5

8-31-06 Day 1 of my adventure has begun! Thousands of dollars and many hours have transpired since I began, and now I am boarding my plane. It feels a bit strange to be finally leaving. After all that prep work, reality swoops in and drives home the unexpected. Truly, there is no turning back. My cousin Mark got married this weekend, and the rehearsal luau was on Friday night. I spent most of my afternoon trying to contact people concerning my yet uncleared visa. I gave up for the night and went to the luau. Laura trimmed my hair on Saturday and she and Daron braided it. Sunday was a lovely time to say goodbye to the "gob", (my friends in Butte area). We went to Melaques for lunch and I bid them farewell. I had to cancel my flight and book another, which cost almost 3x what my original ticket cost. My visa actually just arrived yesterday morning. It was a good delay, however. I actually fel like I had everything ready to leave. Everything except my brain. 9-1-0
Read more