Alma de Color

Wahoo! The semester is finally over! Yessssssss!!!!! Looking back over the past few months, I feel a sense of...I dunno, remorse/happiness/relief? (Would that be called repief?) So much has changed in my life this year. Isn't that what I expected? My pursuit of God has brought me into the strangest, most unexpected places possible. But that is what I asked for, wasn't it? Haven't I asked Him time and time again to give me adventures in which He reveals more of Himself to me? I desire to be trusted with much, but it seems over the fleeting months of this semester, I have not been a great steward of the much that God gave me. So I am resolved to start back with the little things. Like time. I desire to be wise with my time. Like words. I desire to be wise with my words. Like prayer. I desire to be a prayer warrior who is feared by those spiritual forces against which we battle with God as our general. Like integrity. I desire to always do God's will with utmost passion, n...

So...it's been snowing a lot here. It lies in thick blankets of cliche atop the slumbering earth. I look outside my window and it seems as though the vehicles have been eaten by giant marshmallow slugs. You can tell who hasn't used their vehicles in a while. They have succumbed to the giant gastropods of snow. Yesterday, I was walking through the crystal-rent air, trying to thaw my frozen nose when I looked to the side of the path upon which I tread, and caught a glimpse of something I often miss living here in the suffocating city. It was a large expanse of unbroken, silvery white. There were no buildings interupting the solitude of the silent glimmer. It was pure, unstained, and sparkling. The sun was out, though it warmed very little indeed, and it waltzed across the smooth ballroom, scattering the most exquisite of diamond shards onto the landscape. It was radiant. It was captivating. And because it was captivating, it made me think of dating. I know. I'm pathetic. Perh...

I saw the face of death last night. And you know what? He didn't scare me a bit. Looking at his gaping visage made me realize that my eternal destination is not something to fear or to doubt. After all...I would just be going home. But it did make me think of things that I would be loathe to leave behind. I know my family and most of my really deep friends I would see later, but there are those in my extended family and circle of friends who do not understand the importance of having a relationship with God over religiosity. I would miss being refined, day by day. I enjoy the process, and learning new things...experiencing new relationships...seeing life as I have never before. And perhaps that's why God prompted me to slow down last night on my way to music practice. I was already driving very slow due to the black ice all over the streets, but as I approached one of the intersections near Hastings, I felt an urgency in my heart to slow down and perhaps even stop. So I did. An...

The walls are starting to come down. The barbed wire is gingerly being pulled away from my gently pulsating heart. One by one, the landmines that pepper the battlefield of my emotions are being deactivated. I can breathe again. I can emerge from my shell of defenses and look through the drifting smoke and see the penetrating rays of sunshine sifting through that which is dark and hardened, allowing me to soar above and see that which is lovely, calm, and beautiful. For years, I have been so guarded, so immersed in protecting myself, that I have gradually forgotten what it was like to truly love someone, and be loved in return. I sport no list of battle scars, because the fear of getting even a scratch has kept me underground for far too long. I am safe, but have I truly lived? What a process of wooing! Jesus has been pursuing me for whole life, and I have been taking gradual steps closer to him, but not since childhood have I felt this vibrant, passionate love coursing through my froze...

Whoohoo! I getta go home today! I'm jazzed. I'm ready to back to the place from whence I came. My place of rest and relaxation. I plan to have a chat with God down by the river, where I go for comfort, or for inspiration, or for rest. Slender fingers of sunlight caress my cheek as I sit here on my rock. The river swirls and murmurs by, skirting the rock playfully. There is a slight eddying between the rock and the grassy shore. This motion of the waters creates a calm pool. Water skippers dance across the shining surface and avoid colliding with the mayflies touching down momentarily to deposit their eggs. Looking deeper, I can see that a small group of minnows darts from shadow to shadow through the topaz water. River rocks, worn smooth by the constant flow, have a slight covering of moss to which caddis flies cling with great tenacity. As I inhale the sweet air and recline on the rough red rock, I gaze at the sky and watch wisps of clouds slide silently from o...